Thank you for writing this. The idea of holding their most wonderful selves in mind when they are going through a difficult time is amazing. My son still really struggles sometimes, but this is a great reminder that he is also so sweet, vibrant, funny, and thoughtful. It's helpful to hear from someone who has been through it and come out the other side.
I would love to hear if you notice any shifts. Something I noticed immediately was that when I held my whole son in mind, I stopped feeling like I was failing in any way. Because he was clearly a fabulous person and so much more than this moment! I had so much more compassion for him and for myself when I was able to do that x
This was such an emotional and moving read. Thank you for sharing. To hear from others who have been on a similar path is so validating and reassuring.
Thank you so so so much for this. This is my reality exactly right now, and I was just hit in the face upon waking this morning and burst into tears and felt all those same fears climbing in about the future. I’m going to reread this post many times. Thank you sincerely!
Hi Megan. I’m so glad the piece felt helpful for you. I hope you have ways to take good care of yourself and to have support from people who get it. Most of us start by trying to solve our child, when investing in ourselves, our own happiness and nervous system regulation creates a far stronger foundation to build on. Much love and strength to you ❤️
Thank you for this. We have sought professional help for our son’s externalised fight responses and despite being two parents with long-term mental health conditions and a child with an autism diagnosis all we got was a 6 week parenting course that was anything but neuro-affirming or trauma-informed. The strategies were more suited to neurotypical children struggling with anxiety and any attempts at creating a more ND dialogue within the course was shut down by its facilitators. There was absolutely no support available to us caregivers, not even a list or pamphlet about mental health services. Shame definitely plays a huge role in our lives.
I'm so sorry to hear your experience Hayley. There is so much mis-information out there that can make things so much worse. I know the shame piece runs deep, but I'd encourage you to remember that this is a level of parenting that most people are not called on to do, and consequently have no idea of the incredible patience, self-regulation and compassion that is required. There is no shame in you recognising your son's struggle and wanting to accompany him in a way that supports him and yourselves. I hope you're finding ways to keep yourself as resourced as possible xx
Thank you for writing this. The idea of holding their most wonderful selves in mind when they are going through a difficult time is amazing. My son still really struggles sometimes, but this is a great reminder that he is also so sweet, vibrant, funny, and thoughtful. It's helpful to hear from someone who has been through it and come out the other side.
I would love to hear if you notice any shifts. Something I noticed immediately was that when I held my whole son in mind, I stopped feeling like I was failing in any way. Because he was clearly a fabulous person and so much more than this moment! I had so much more compassion for him and for myself when I was able to do that x
Such a clear and inspiring and hopeful read. Thankyou so much
Thank you 🙏
saw this at just the right time - I knew all of this, but sometimes a reminder from someone else feels like a warm compress on a worried heart. ❤️
This was such an emotional and moving read. Thank you for sharing. To hear from others who have been on a similar path is so validating and reassuring.
Thank you so so so much for this. This is my reality exactly right now, and I was just hit in the face upon waking this morning and burst into tears and felt all those same fears climbing in about the future. I’m going to reread this post many times. Thank you sincerely!
Hi Megan. I’m so glad the piece felt helpful for you. I hope you have ways to take good care of yourself and to have support from people who get it. Most of us start by trying to solve our child, when investing in ourselves, our own happiness and nervous system regulation creates a far stronger foundation to build on. Much love and strength to you ❤️
Thank you for this. We have sought professional help for our son’s externalised fight responses and despite being two parents with long-term mental health conditions and a child with an autism diagnosis all we got was a 6 week parenting course that was anything but neuro-affirming or trauma-informed. The strategies were more suited to neurotypical children struggling with anxiety and any attempts at creating a more ND dialogue within the course was shut down by its facilitators. There was absolutely no support available to us caregivers, not even a list or pamphlet about mental health services. Shame definitely plays a huge role in our lives.
I'm so sorry to hear your experience Hayley. There is so much mis-information out there that can make things so much worse. I know the shame piece runs deep, but I'd encourage you to remember that this is a level of parenting that most people are not called on to do, and consequently have no idea of the incredible patience, self-regulation and compassion that is required. There is no shame in you recognising your son's struggle and wanting to accompany him in a way that supports him and yourselves. I hope you're finding ways to keep yourself as resourced as possible xx